Letter from Fanny to Frank Hall, from Hartford, Ct.
Hartford, Dec. 15, 1862
My own dearest one,
Saturday noon your dear letter came home,
to wifey's heart. No words can tell you how thankful, how rejoiced, I was
to get it. Oh, my husband, yes, indeed, you have lived quite a lifetime in
a few days, and so has wifey in our quiet, little home. One can never commence
to know the intenseness of anxiety till their own experience tells them.
I thought I knew, but my husband, I insist upon it, we are not like most
people. I know you will write whenever you can. My only fear is that you
will make too great efforts to send letters. Never for a moment expose yourself
to fatigue or danger in order to send a letter, but when you write, always
please tell me how you are exactly and how situated.
Those three words, "I am well,"
nobody in the wide world can estimate the comfort of true circumstances as
we are. And my own one, now where are you? I so fearfully fear that in your
utter forgetfulness of your own self, you will in some way expose yourself
when you should not, Oh, think of your duty. Remember wifey all
alone at home and take every precaution that you can. The sixth
commandment means a great deal.
All the time I think of you and wish I
was by your side, ministering to the wants of our wounded soldiers and helping
hubbie in all humble ways in the noble work. But I so well know from experience
how perfectly unthoughtful you are of self when there is sickness that I
fear you will not take sufficient care to enable you to fulfill your duties.
In order to be useful, you must be Judicious in the expenditure of strength.
I know in my heart's depths what a darling muse you are. Oh, how I wish I
was with you. My heart flows full.
It seems as if the whole nation should
bow in prayer and earnest supplication. Yesterday morning in church, Mr.
Caulkins' prayer was so deep, so earnest, it really seemed as if he was wrestling
with God, as did Jacob. Oh, that the prayers of God's people may be answered
with a blessing, I told Lucy Adams, yesterday, that you have inquired &
begged her to pray for you. She said yes, she would & that her little
children had some, in the being they pray for every night together &
that you would be added to the [list]. Was it not sweet? It seems as if it
should be one constant lifting up of the heart to God. Oh, my husband, may
you be guided & protected in all dangers and may we be sweetly spared
one another long and happily, here on earth.
How my heart is with you all
the time, if you are well and able to bear [it]. I know your delight in doing
all you can aid, and cannot be few. You will not remember & guard yourself
as you ought.
May your daily, hourly movements have
strength given you from on High, mentally and physically, and be the means
of much good to the souls of our soldiers in guiding them and explaining
to them the truth as it is in Jesus.
I want this to go by the morning mail,
so it will be only a short letter with deep, earnest, unfailing love from
thine own wife,
Fannie
Mr. Swift came up last night very lividly
with the telegraph news. Oh, how we talked of you. He feels, as I, that you
will not be careful enough. Ma [Frank's mother - ed.] is writing in her room.
The Lieut. at the office tries to bring us all the intelligence as he
can.
Most lonely, but truly thine
Fan